I Cried Many Times.

 

A movie that will ruin your mascara big time. But it’s worth it!

 

I’ve been wanting to watch this movie since after I watched its trailer. And so, on Sunday, 15th October, mom and I finally got to watch the movie. I’m so excited to share my thoughts about this film, I knew I will be writing a post about it because I’ve already sense it. True enough its a good movie to write about one. For those who haven’t, do not worry because I will not be a spoiler of the movie in this post.

Obvious enough that the movie is about family, and I’m sure everyone will be able to relate to the movie one way or another.  You know, at some situations in the movie, I see myself in each characters. I also felt that the story was very personal, as if it was made based on our story. Ronaldo Valdez (in the movie), was like my grandfather (who passed away last month), white haired, happy man.. so, I can relate, and I could see him in his character. He was on my mind all throughout the movie. In addition, my grandmother died before my grandpa, so it is most probably the reason why my tears are also too shallow for this kind of film.

When the movie started rolling, and complications between the family shows, I found myself already teary eyed. I don’t know but this movie touched me by the heart I couldn’t imagine. My mom on the other hand, were fine, I didn’t see her wipe any tears at all, but me, oh~ my heart broke many times with this movie.

Few of the reasons why I cried.

  • I cried.. because it reminded me that I didn’t have at least Seven Sundays with my grandmother and grandfather before they bid goodbye.
  • I cried.. because I could’ve spent more time, or at the least Seven Sundays with them, and make those counts, but I didn’t.
  • I cried because I see myself with his children that they are too busy growing up and fixing their own lives, forgetting they are also growing old.
  • I cried because as much as we like to stay connected with our roots, as humans, we are somehow destined to fall to the pitfall of this earth.
  • I cried…  because I remembered my eldest brother (he passed away 9years ago) with the eldest character in the film portrayed by Aga Muhlach. When I was young, I thought my brother looks like him because they have the same body built and fashion (more of outfit style) statement. I was so close to him, and I loved him so much.
  • I cried… because I was jealous with the characters in the sense of, they are simply a normal family. My family was also the same before my eldest brother, grandmother, and grandfather died. I felt my life was more complete when I had them.
  • I cried because I felt sorry for him (the father), that he had struggles gathering all his children so they could spend more time with each other, when he shouldn’t beg for it in the first place.

You can say though that you may know the majority of the story because usually movie trailers here in the Philippines would give all the highlights of the movie, and that you’ll watch it just to see how the story gets connected. But this film has more twists and stories to tell!

I’m proud of this movie, and I hope to see a lot of this kind. It brought some of the deep truths about family, as well as how wonderful it is to have people we call ..

FAMILY.

Advertisements

What I Always Pray To God.

I always pray to God, and my way of sending my prayers is thru writing to Him. I thought that the journal that I have, is for me to document the things that happens to me, so I will be reminded of the events that happened in my life, but as I was reading them last night I realise that it is actually my prayer to God. All of my writings starts with me asking God how his day went, and hoping it went very well, then my turn on how my day went, the lessons I learned and ends with a prayer for my family.

I don’t end my writings without asking God for guidance and safety for my family, especially my loved ones that are far away from me like my Brother Bear, Mom,  Kris, Kris family, and my friends.  I once read that “For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayer alone, but those of another praying for us.” And I agree, that’s why I always try to make it to a point not to forget to mention in my prayers that they too stay faithful with God, and Continue reading

Birthday Gift From My Special Someone

Happy Me! Thank you my love for the gift.

Yey! I got a belated happy birthday gift from my love, kris. This is just a random post, and because I am happy, I am sharing this with you all.

unboxing the new laptop

My birthday was about 2 months ago, yet, my boyfriend Kris didn’t forget to get me something for my  birthday. He knew I’ve been wanting to have a new laptop and look what he got for me!

say cheese..

DSC_4680

Again, thank you to my love for this gift. Btw, it’s a Macbook Pro with retina display. =)

I Wish Philippines Is Just a Drive Away

Again another note found in my drafts. I must be very alone back then to wrote this. Oh well, sometimes life takes you to the place unknown, and you’ve got to find the medium to let it all go. So am I.

I hope Philippines is just a drive away. So whenever I need to feel secured I could just go to mom and cry to her. I wish Philippines is not so far from here so I could go to my friends when I feel like leaving this place. There’s nothing wrong in here, you know. But sometimes people around don’t really understand me. I want to be home! I want to feel I belong. I don’t want to keep on pushing myself to the point I am no longer myself. I am complicated. So are you. I am stubborn. So are you. But I am also good. I know for sure I am not the worst you’ll ever meet. Its a never ending story about my attitude. Never ending story about why I am like this. Honestly, I don’t know. I can’t change myself further anymore! I am sick of always changing myself just so I could fit to the person you want me to be. I am dead sick of always controlling myself just to please you, just so we don’t fight.

I want to go back to the world where I know I am welcomed with arms wide open. I want to go back to the place where all the people respect and understand why I am this way. I want to go back to the feeling where I am loved – in spite of my flaws and imperfections. I wish I could be home now.

In fact, you are right. I am bossy, I am maarte, I am not professional. And I am not the person you wish I am. But I love the way I am. I embraced the person I become.

Goodbye Dearest Nanay.

image

Dearest Nanay,

Firstly, I would like to thank the lord for your life and opportunity to be part of it. You played the biggest role in my life Nanay you know that, and I owe every single of me to you. You have molded me to become what I am now. You have taught me lessons that nobody will ever learn from school, thank you so much for  the unconditional love you never fail to give and show me every single day of your life. I know everyone in the family sort of envy how much you cared and showed love to me, and so I am to you Nanay. No one can estimate the greater love and pain I had to bear knowing that I will no longer see you next time I visit Philippines. It is so heartbreaking that I wasn’t there when you took your last breath, when the moment I was brought into this world you were the first one in there. I’d always love you Nanay and I will forever keep you very close to my heart Nanay. I will always remember all that you said to me, and live with it. I miss you so much Nanay! I so miss you! 😦 I am only thinking that you are now in a way better place, and you’re together with Kuya already in heaven. You have fulfilled your purpose in life here on earth and soon we’ll meet there. Please wait for me and pick me up there when I get there too.

What more can I say Nanay, you are my everything. You are my life, now with all that you have taught me I will live with it on my own. I will take care of mama like what you always told me, or maybe no, so that you can visit me. I love you forever Nanay! Forever! You are the greatest love I ever had. Thank you for all the love and care and for raising me the person I am today. I’m sorry that you had left before I have my mansion that I always tell you, but I have a house now, and it’s because of you Nanay, you let me live with big dreams and hopes, along with actions to reach it. I love you so so much Nanay! I will always be your favorite apo and I will never change. I will keep on chasing my dreams and take care of the people around me especially mama.I love you so much!

Love,

Your Apo.

Written on July 11, 2014.

Finally! US Residence. Such Joy!

Nope! It wasn’t I who got the US residence released, but it was my friend Shen. I thought of writing about it, I mean not about how the approval went, but, what a joy I felt when she told me about it.

And I intend to make this post about her and our friendship.

Yesterday, I got a private message from her that she finally got her US residence already approved. Why this brings so much joy to me? Well, because of this.

US Residence Approved

Yes, we’ve been friends since Highschool days. But many can relate that after highschool or university, when we are already in the real world, facing real challenges, we lose some of those we call friends. Either others build their own family, or move abroad.

And I am so blessed to realise that those I thought of as my real friends, are still there. That they kept me even more closer to their hearts. Like this lady, Shen and I, on my perspective – we don’t posses that usual type of friendship who speak all the time with each other, go out always and etc.,

Well, we can’t really do that because we are both in different worlds. She’s living in US, and I’m staying in Dubai. But it always amazes me that although almost 5 years we don’t see each other. If you noticed, our last conversation was also last year August 2014, yet there is a confident feeling inside me that I have her back no matter what, and she has mine too all the time.

Going back, I was in full smile for her achievement. It was joy that I felt. I immediately thought about places we can go visit when she visits me here, and the restaurants we can eat from, the activities we’ll do, and a whole lot more. Shen is a reflection of myself, truthfully I see myself on her – well maybe she’s even better than I am, she’s a positive person, Shen has a heart of a kid, it feels like her passion is to be happy and radiate that happiness to the people around her.

I realize how I only have few friends, even more lucky that they are the truest and great friends I ever met. I’d be taking this opportunity to thank you, Shen, for being your truest self, I really miss those days that our stories don’t ends. From the simplest thing that happened to us in that day to the extremes of our days. Thank you for those good times and I am hoping to have another one like that soon. Especially that you got your US residence, come and visit me here!

Lastly, thank you God, for planning all of these. The people you are bringing to my life are all amazing people! Shen is one of those, her simplicity and trueness makes me feel nothing less but joy, I admire her being the responsible eldest to her siblings, a good daughter, friend, and kindhearted person.

A message that no matter how other part of my life feels exhausting, on the many more part it is all but good.

True Friend wont grow apart

P.R.E.S.S.U.R.E.D @_@

P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E-D.

That is what I am now.

Lately, I’m getting this feeling again of pressure. I can not think properly and I feel at my lowest. I do not even know how to handle stress and pressure anymore. I feel like just giving up. I’m out of control and out of myself these days. There’s just so much stuffs going on in my head and I do not know what to attend first.

I hate to be told what to do and how I should manage my life in a way that its nagging.

I used to overcome stress and pressure when I was younger, but today, its as if I wasn’t who I was. Everything’s changed. I can’t handle stress anymore. I can’t do that anymore! T_T. I seriously feel helpless when I can’t even speak my mind because I just can’t/I’m not allowed. I do not know how to balance things anymore.

I need to get back to my old self. I needed it so badly right now.