At home: I woke up 6:15am and take a bath right away.
7:15am left home. my duty starts at 8am. I reached the office at 7:30am. Wondering why I am very early. Well, i want to leave before my room mate finish using the bathroom. She also leave at 7:30am in the morning for work. And because we are not in good terms these days. I want to avoid her. Why? Well, I actually shouldn’t because there’s nothing for me to do so. We just had a miscommunication last friday and I do not know I just received a message from her saying “I would just enjoy myself alone, it seems like you don’t want to come to the mall with me anymore”, what a statement. It strucked me because where is this coming from? I don’t remember saying something that would make her think that way. But oh well, now although I shouldn’t get affected, I still am. The least I could do is probably just avoid her until she is ready to talk about it or when she maybe have forgotten and forgiven it. She is a kind person and I wouldn’t want her to feel that way, that’s why I’m affected. But can’t I have room for myself even for a while?
I’m trying to act normal, it was always me who’s initiating the greetings. Like earlier I was the one that said good morning before she said that, there’s rice ready and I could bring some for lunch.
I was the one that initiated last night’s greetings. When I saw her in the room, “hey, you’re early” and it was genuine. I honestly got excited seeing her tonight before I came. So, it was real, not just I’m faking it. But I could feel that, she’s not okay. You know what, I’m trying to give her a time. So she can think things through. I know it’s all she needs. I’m still glad that we are still talking although not that much and it’s very casual.
moving on, At the office: 9:15am my colleague came. Good, I have a someone to accompany me already. But honestly, I could feel even better knowing I’m all alone and there’s no one to get help from. Look, she’s here but feels like she isn’t. She’s like invisible.
What I accomplished already.
Opening all the machines.
Sending all the patients of our sick doctor that she won’t be available today.
taking out the files for tomorrow.
arranging the new patient forms.
putting back on the sleeves the files of our patients yesterday.
9:15 she came. Sit on the cashier station.
open her book.
open the browser watching videos of what she was learning.
sit on the front desk – again, watch videos. what else? make coffee for herself.
She never been looking for something productive to do.
Now, the appointment schedule for today is not distributed yet and it will not be distributed by itself unless I do it. She wouldn’t do it.
Not even the aquarium’s light open.
what a work life.