Prayer Of A Friend

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the lives of my friends. Thank you for everything that they are and for all their gifts and talents. I thank you for the many things that they have given to others and for all the kindness that they have shown me.

Lord, I pray that forgiveness reigns in our lives. I pray that Madel would find in her heart to forgive Joyce for everything that she may have done wrong, and so kept her from not enjoying life to the fullest. I also made some mistakes in our friendship and my only wish is that they may forgive me too. Lord I pray that all of Madel’s questions that were left unanswered, may you please show her that the answers are found in her own heart. She is an amazing woman and I love her to bits, and I am certain that yaye and joyce feel the same way too towards her.

As friends, we are willing to support and be patient on her upon taking that step to forgive everyone that she had done wrongly, and everyone that have caused her trouble. Lord, you have planted in our hearts only kindness, please guide us especially Madel to use this powerful weapon to good use and purpose. By this, I know you will open more doors of happiness and peace that she may have been waiting for a long time.

Lord, bless my friends and their families which are the source of their strengths. May your presence be their light and guide that they would honor when they take their everyday battles in life.

Lord, you know their needs like no one else knows. You know the ones that have secret pain, worries, and fears. I pray that you comfort them and bless them with your strength and restore their hope. I don’t know all of the challenges that they are facing right now, but you know everything. You hear what their hearts are saying, may you grant them with peace of mind to continue with their life and enjoy your creation to the fullest.

Lord, thank you for the assurance of good life when we turn our troubles unto you. Thank you for always guiding us in silence even though we sometimes forget to call on you, and tried to solve our problems on our own. Please forgive us all.

Lord, I also pray that Joyce’s journey on moving on be fulfilled, because I know that she deserves to be happy. She has always been a wonderful person and everyone would agree that it’s going to be different when she is not around. She has always been the most supportive person I have ever known and we will always and forever be glad to come to know her.

Thank you for bringing us all together as friends and please bring us more closer than before. I know this is your will and we are just thankful for everything that you’ve provided us.

I also pray for our friend Khrisna, she may not know how much we love her more than she loves us, but we will always be grateful for her life. She may have the most challenging past amongst us, but it didn’t give her the reason to give up. We are so looking at her as an inspiration that no matter what life gives us, we make something good out of it. We only hope that her life continuous to grow with your presence in her heart and may she continue to be the funniest person in our friendship, because everyone needs a little laugh when situations get tough.

Lastly, I come to you dear Lord to comfort and keep my friends Madel, Joyce and Khrisna close to you. Instill in us your loyal spirit. Show us how to listen deeply, forgive truthfully, and pray wholeheartedly with an open heart. In my love for my friends Lord, I ask you to intervene with our troubled hearts and bring peace to it.

Thank you for the gift of friendship, thank you for the gift of wonderful people in the forms of Madel, Joyce, and Khrisna. We have inspired each other, challenge each other, stretch each other’s patience, and encourage each other one way or another. I pray that we may not forget all these wonderful memories we gave each other.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen. :-* :-* :-*

Goodbye Dearest Nanay.

image

Dearest Nanay,

Firstly, I would like to thank the lord for your life and opportunity to be part of it. You played the biggest role in my life Nanay you know that, and I owe every single of me to you. You have molded me to become what I am now. You have taught me lessons that nobody will ever learn from school, thank you so much for  the unconditional love you never fail to give and show me every single day of your life. I know everyone in the family sort of envy how much you cared and showed love to me, and so I am to you Nanay. No one can estimate the greater love and pain I had to bear knowing that I will no longer see you next time I visit Philippines. It is so heartbreaking that I wasn’t there when you took your last breath, when the moment I was brought into this world you were the first one in there. I’d always love you Nanay and I will forever keep you very close to my heart Nanay. I will always remember all that you said to me, and live with it. I miss you so much Nanay! I so miss you! 😦 I am only thinking that you are now in a way better place, and you’re together with Kuya already in heaven. You have fulfilled your purpose in life here on earth and soon we’ll meet there. Please wait for me and pick me up there when I get there too.

What more can I say Nanay, you are my everything. You are my life, now with all that you have taught me I will live with it on my own. I will take care of mama like what you always told me, or maybe no, so that you can visit me. I love you forever Nanay! Forever! You are the greatest love I ever had. Thank you for all the love and care and for raising me the person I am today. I’m sorry that you had left before I have my mansion that I always tell you, but I have a house now, and it’s because of you Nanay, you let me live with big dreams and hopes, along with actions to reach it. I love you so so much Nanay! I will always be your favorite apo and I will never change. I will keep on chasing my dreams and take care of the people around me especially mama.I love you so much!

Love,

Your Apo.

Written on July 11, 2014.

Finally! US Residence. Such Joy!

Nope! It wasn’t I who got the US residence released, but it was my friend Shen. I thought of writing about it, I mean not about how the approval went, but, what a joy I felt when she told me about it.

And I intend to make this post about her and our friendship.

Yesterday, I got a private message from her that she finally got her US residence already approved. Why this brings so much joy to me? Well, because of this.

US Residence Approved

Yes, we’ve been friends since Highschool days. But many can relate that after highschool or university, when we are already in the real world, facing real challenges, we lose some of those we call friends. Either others build their own family, or move abroad.

And I am so blessed to realise that those I thought of as my real friends, are still there. That they kept me even more closer to their hearts. Like this lady, Shen and I, on my perspective – we don’t posses that usual type of friendship who speak all the time with each other, go out always and etc.,

Well, we can’t really do that because we are both in different worlds. She’s living in US, and I’m staying in Dubai. But it always amazes me that although almost 5 years we don’t see each other. If you noticed, our last conversation was also last year August 2014, yet there is a confident feeling inside me that I have her back no matter what, and she has mine too all the time.

Going back, I was in full smile for her achievement. It was joy that I felt. I immediately thought about places we can go visit when she visits me here, and the restaurants we can eat from, the activities we’ll do, and a whole lot more. Shen is a reflection of myself, truthfully I see myself on her – well maybe she’s even better than I am, she’s a positive person, Shen has a heart of a kid, it feels like her passion is to be happy and radiate that happiness to the people around her.

I realize how I only have few friends, even more lucky that they are the truest and great friends I ever met. I’d be taking this opportunity to thank you, Shen, for being your truest self, I really miss those days that our stories don’t ends. From the simplest thing that happened to us in that day to the extremes of our days. Thank you for those good times and I am hoping to have another one like that soon. Especially that you got your US residence, come and visit me here!

Lastly, thank you God, for planning all of these. The people you are bringing to my life are all amazing people! Shen is one of those, her simplicity and trueness makes me feel nothing less but joy, I admire her being the responsible eldest to her siblings, a good daughter, friend, and kindhearted person.

A message that no matter how other part of my life feels exhausting, on the many more part it is all but good.

True Friend wont grow apart

P.R.E.S.S.U.R.E.D @_@

P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E-D.

That is what I am now.

Lately, I’m getting this feeling again of pressure. I can not think properly and I feel at my lowest. I do not even know how to handle stress and pressure anymore. I feel like just giving up. I’m out of control and out of myself these days. There’s just so much stuffs going on in my head and I do not know what to attend first.

I hate to be told what to do and how I should manage my life in a way that its nagging.

I used to overcome stress and pressure when I was younger, but today, its as if I wasn’t who I was. Everything’s changed. I can’t handle stress anymore. I can’t do that anymore! T_T. I seriously feel helpless when I can’t even speak my mind because I just can’t/I’m not allowed. I do not know how to balance things anymore.

I need to get back to my old self. I needed it so badly right now.

The Nature Of Humans.

What an amazing testament that more than the violence that the media kept on feeding us, the goodness of humans will always find its way, we are simply naturally good people. Unconsciously we care for other people, we always put ourselves in their shoes first and behave accordingly.

Treasure, That Is What They Are.

old man phone

We are so busy with our own life that we forget to give our parents/grandparents a call to just even say Hi and ask them how are they doing. We are so busy growing up and attending to our needs and other people’s needs. We were already eaten by the world. Today, life took over to one of the most important thing in this world, our Family/Parents. Its true, bitter as it may seem but its the truth, we don’t have much time for our parents, we let ourselves go with the flow of life, thinking we don’t have control over it. For us, we’re always short of time when it comes to them. While when we were young they never have the time to stop loving and nurturing us.

Each time I look back and reminisce my childhood days, I still can’t believe it was that awesome, and I know in my heart its because of my Grandparents. I was so grateful they let me experience what I experienced.

Now as I grew older, indeed, like took its toll on me. I became so attached to the world, to my work, to my friends, to my “wants”, to everything. At a point I don’t recall the last time I called them.

The first time I saw this picture it already touched my heart, and immediately I grabbed my phone to call mom.

I guess that’s a reality we will often overlook. The reality of growing older and unconsciously leaving some important things behind.

When have you last called your parents for a simple hello?

Summary Of The Past Year [Supposedly for 05 January Blog Post]

Today, it obviously feels like all of me are in mood for blogging. What a good way to start the year 2015. For the past year a lot has happened, trials, triumph, etc., and as an attempt to gather all the highlights of the past year, I’m gonna give it a shot this way. What I think changed from me and other lessons learned.

I’ve finally learned to expect less. Few have known that it’s been a long time struggle taking my expectation lower possible. I’ve always been the type of person who really cares and it would show in my actions and efforts and not luckily, I expect the same from others. I know that we are not all the same, but I was holding to this thing that whatever I give to the world would be given back to me. I was all wrong. Instead I learned that we are asked to give the best we can but not necessarily expect it in return.

As time goes by, and only until I shake my head up to this realization that I got over with expecting so much. Indeed, it was a good move to be free and just do what I want to do if I thought it makes me happy and expect none or less atleast. This, I’ve learned and getting good at it.

“She doesn’t have the same heart as mine.” When there are situations unfavourable to me, I always just think of this. Certainly, I can not expect people to do the same for me. It is related to the first one listed, if only I could describe how this is a huge struggle for me.

Don’t try to push/force things. This is in terms of trying to be heard. I love talking and I like to always speak my mind, I believe that’s my talent. But sometimes even I, gets mad to myself. There are words that needs no more explanation, words that I don’t have to further describe why I didn’t agree or why I agreed. I just have to let it be. This prevents me from hurting others and hurting myself, I never want to regret words I never meant in the first place.

I learned to be submissive. I learned that I don’t always have to win everybody, I don’t have to always show them I’m above them, as true act of maturity is being able to influence others by lifting them up, showing them how to play in life fairly. I am an admitted superior, and I admit that I never get out in any argument without speaking what’s all in my mind and you have to either prove me I’m wrong or you’re right. I don’t buy lame excuses, people. But I learned that it’s not all like that. People whether you’re above them or below them, respecting them isn’t only measured by not telling them they’re stupid but making them feel that you are there to help them to whatever is lacking from them.

I am more matured now. I can feel it! Indeed, a lot has changed in me for better. I can’t list ’em all one-by-one but I can feel it. One of it was, before I like it when I feel that people are intimidated by my presence, but I realized it can be good/tolerable when I was young but not at my age now. I have to give that up for youngster.

I learned to be more rational. I’d been trying and studying to be more rational since before, and only until the past year I was able to really live with it. Maybe because I’ve met a lot of people too and although I don’t fancy some of them, I took the lessons I learned from them unconsciously.

Spend wisely. May I say if not because I met Kris I wouldn’t be able to know how to spend my earnings wisely, as well as making decisions wisely. One of the greatest things Kris taught me was to spend wisely! Although I knew this, I have plans for where my earnings will be going, but I still have things I will never see as ‘wants’ because I’m defending it.

Plan your journey ahead. This I learned myself. I have so many plans for our relationship, and what I learned, to get something done I have to plan it. I have to set dates on when I want to achieve it. I learned that its less hassle to purchase tickets ahead of time so when the date comes, its off the list and its less stress.

When you have a love life, you cannot do the same thing you used to do. I enjoy being occupied. I enjoy being busy myself with activities and all. But when I got my love life, it isn’t easy to just do all of those things anymore. Priorities changed and as much as I would like to enjoy my life alone, I don’t. I want him to be in it. I want to share it with him. I am not sure how do you guys want to put it, but to me I feel like I became two when I have my love life. Its a good thing because all emotions are shared.

Talk kindly. I do. But sometimes I still can get bad mouth and I’m not as aware of it before unlike today. Another thing I learned from Kris again. Although I don’t say bad words, there are words I am unaware of whether its hurtful already or not. Like, to me its my normal but to others it isn’t. Again, as I am more matured now I learned these things and now I am more aware than before.